I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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