didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
