He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize