Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
