my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
