i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
