So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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