1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
