i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
