i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize