I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
