About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ladies don't puke and tell
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
