I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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