Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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