I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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