the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
3pm strippers are depressing
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
