Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
PANTIES FOUND
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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