So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
