my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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