Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
