Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
