she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
