Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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