Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize