spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
