carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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