guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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