Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
