Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
