i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
