i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
