i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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