Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
