Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
