I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
