i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
