I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize