Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
