youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize