just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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