therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're a waste of cheezeits
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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