called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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