It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
