Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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