So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
