he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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