What did we do last night that was yellow?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
