I just pynch a tree in the face
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
