I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize