I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
