He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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