just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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