In the future we'll all be gay
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize