I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
