He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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