I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
