I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
