I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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