bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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