I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
