And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
