Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Randomize
