i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
