Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
