Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
