its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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