So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
