people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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