real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
