I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
