And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I cockslap morals
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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