you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
