Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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