i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
